by Melissa Bee | Aug 21, 2015 | From the Inside
How can I forgive you and not myself? I canât forgive myself, yet I can forgive everybody else. I forgive you for never being there. I forgive you for never acting like you cared, when you would leave for days on end. I was all alone with no friends. The drugs took over your life. You couldnât even walk or think right. I would brush your hair and it would come out in chunks. I always stayed quiet never cried much. Although when I was alone I would cry my eyes out. Cursing at God, in Him I had so many doubts. When you opened the door I would dry my tears, trying to show you that you could talk to me and that I was mature. You would brush me off and say youâre too tired to talk. Yell at me, and tell me to go outside and play with my chalk. Not understanding I was twelve and I didnât play with chalk anymore. I would go outside and try to hide what happened behind closed doors. People would ask me why I looked so sad or what was wrong with me. I would lie and say I just watched a sad movie. I know my excuses they did not believe.
As I grew older I started to rebel. Going out all night, drugs I would sell. I thought you would notice but you never did, never even cared that you had a kid.
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by Melissa Bee | Aug 20, 2015 | From the Inside
To follow up on Philip Brasfield’s piece posted yesterday, “To Sleep, Perchance to Dream,” about sleep deprivation in prison, this is audio of Rick (via phone), also currently in TDCJ, describing the daily schedule and count procedure. Keep in mind that they go to breakfast at 3:00 AM.
Count time in Prison
by Inmate Contributor | Aug 19, 2015 | Philip Brasfield
If you want a good night’s sleep in Texas, don’t look for it in prison. Finding respite from the constant noise and bright lights in cell blocks and dormitories is increasingly difficult in general population. In special housing areas (Administrative Segregation), it may be impossible.
Despite conservative, tough-on-crime mythology perpetuating the misconception that prisons are like gated country clubs, life behind bars is synonymous to a fenced and caged dystopia.
Nearly one-third of every day in prison is spent being counted. Ideally, all counts are supposed to clear in an hour.
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by Melissa Bee | Aug 18, 2015 | From the Staff, News
Please tune in for this Thursday’s episode of Women Behind the Wall Podcast, hosted by Gloria Killian. I am thrilled and honored to be her guest for the hour (5:00 PM – 6:00 PM PDT).
Gloria is the Executive Director of ACWIP (Action Committee for Women in Prison), and spent nearly 17 years in a California prison before being released and exonerated in 2002, with the help of volunteer Joyce Ride (mother of the late Sally Ride – the first American female astronaut in space). You might say that Joyce Ride is one of the first inmate adopters :).
Gloria has been featured on The Story, and CNN’s Death Row Stories (Season One, available for streaming on Netflix), and is listed in the National Registry of Exonerations. Her book Full Circle: A True Story of Murder, Lies, and Vindication, is available on Amazon.com.
Follow us on Facebook and Twitter for updates about how to tune in.
by Melissa Bee | Aug 14, 2015 | From the Staff
Yvette Louisell
Yvette Louisell is one of our adoptees. She was a 17-year old University of Iowa student when she was sentenced to life without parole. She turned 44 in the Iowa Correctional Institute for Woman (ICIW) last July 5th.
Because of the work of Brian Stevenson and his organization, the Equal Justice Initiative, juvenile life without parole sentences (JLWOP) were banned by the U.S. Supreme Court in June 2012. This decision affected several of the women in ICIW, including Yvette.Â
I believe that to say to any child that youâre only fit to die in prison is âcruel.â Itâs true that some of these crimes are very disturbing, but itâs also true that the lives that many of these children have lived are also disturbing. Theyâre in many ways some of the most vulnerable kids in society, and we owe them more than to simply throw them away.
-Brian Stevenson
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by Melissa Bee | Aug 8, 2015 | From the Inside
If you’ve written to an inmate for any length of time, chances are you’ve received a card, similar to the ones above. Cartoon characters are a popular subject for artists on the inside. Because no cash is allowed in prison, inmates will trade goods from commissary or other services for cards. This is technically against the rules, but not strictly enforced. The most commonly traded commissary items are stamps, coffee, and soups.
by Rick Fisk | Aug 3, 2015 | Book Review, Inmate Contributors
What’s Mercy, Anyway?
Reading a book about the work of someone who has dedicated his life to freeing the innocent is inspiring. When youâre reading that book behind bars, it also evokes melancholy and wishful thinking. No matter where you are when you crack the cover on Bryan Stevensonâs Just Mercy, be prepared to stay put until youâre finished reading it. Be prepared also to have your eyes opened – maybe even welling with tears.
Stevenson, who founded the Equal Justice Initiative, takes readers inside prison walls and courtrooms, introducing us to the human beings sentenced to die by the hands of justice system officials and a public whoâve forgotten to, or refuse to, view them as humans.
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by Melissa Bee | Jul 30, 2015 | From the Inside
  From an inmate in Texas
by Melissa Bee | Jul 27, 2015 | From the Inside
Jason in Texas writes often, has a big heart, and has connected us with others on the inside who need adopting. Jason is one of the fortunate ones in that he has access to his own funds for commissary, and wants to reimburse us for the cost of sending him e-mail and books. (Jpay charges 49¢ per page for an e-mail.)
TDCJ (Texas Department of Criminal Justice), where Jason is, offers a service called “e-comm,” that allows friends and family from the outside to purchase commissary-like items that do not count against the inmates’ spend limit for commissary ($85 every two weeks). There is also a spend limit for e-comm, which is $50 per calendar quarter, per inmate. Because e-comm is through a different provider than commissary, they carry different items, so inmates can have a little variety.
We are sending Jason some books that he can read and pass on to others. See our sidebar for a long list of prison book programs.
Please comment or send us an email if you know other angels on the inside that we can spotlight.
We love you Jason!
by Melissa Bee | Jul 24, 2015 | From the Staff
Treat people as if they were who they ought to be, and you may contribute to their becoming all they are capable of being. – German writer Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
