If You Love Me

manipulation

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been on the phone while regrettably being forced to listen to another inmate on the phone next to me scold his girlfriend or mother for not doing something he had asked them to do. “Why haven’t you sent the money? . . . you said you’d send it a week ago! You’re worthless!” Or the classic, “If you love me . . . ” only to manipulate the poor soul on the other end of the phone into feeling guilty for not doing something in a “timely” fashion.

Sadly, this mentality is prevalent in prison. It appears that when people come to prison they automatically expect the world to stop, wait for them, and make themselves available on a moment’s notice for whatever they need. They expect people they claim to love to stop what they’re doing anytime they call to do something they ask — right then and there. There’s no consideration or allowance for what their loved one is doing — it’s all about them.

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Families Pay The Price

Families Pay The Price

We often hear of the exorbitant costs to operate prisons. State budgets are stretched thin and perpetually strained in order to incarcerate tens of thousands of people, for many years at a time. But other costs are absorbed by the casualties of incarceration that often go unreported. Yes, the families pay a heavy price to ensure their loved ones behind bars can have a “comfortable” existence during the years they’re incarcerated.

When an inmate is indigent (in the state of Oregon anyway), he or she will be provided baking soda to brush their teeth, a toothbrush, small bars of soap, and shower shoes. They are also given two envelopes per month to write family and friends. Obviously this is the bare minimum on which one can get by, but most inmates do not live this way.

I am grateful to be incarcerated in a state that “rewards” us (points that are converted into money because technically they can’t “pay” us) for working; however, the highest paying jobs (I have one as a GED tutor) yield approximately $75 a month. Most jobs average between $30 – $40 a month. Our canteen items are marked up exponentially. For instance, one of the highest selling items — instant Taster’s Choice coffee (8 oz) — goes for $9.83. Other staple food items such as Top Ramen soups ($.24 each) are also marked up. Our wages, after buying soap, toothpaste, deodorant, lotion, envelopes, etc., are rapidly depleted, leaving no money left to buy food, let alone electronic items (television, radio, mp3 player) to help divert our attention from our current reality. So who do we turn to?

Our families and loved ones often feel compelled to help us through our incarceration, especially in terms of financial expenses. They know things cost, so they do what they can to help, but their bills at home don’t stop just because we came to prison and now are unable to support ourselves the way we would like. So they send hundreds of dollars throughout the year to enable us to purchase commissary items (food, shoes, electronics) that will bring us a semblance of comfort and normality. But this doesn’t even factor in the expense they pay for the most basic need that we and our families have: phone calls.

The telephone allows us to maintain the most fundamental form of communication on a regular basis with our families and loved ones, yet this turns out to be the most expensive cost of prison for families. They are forced to pay thousands of dollars over the course of each year in order to talk to us. For instance, in Oregon we go through a company called Telmate. Our calls are $.16 per minute, and calls last thirty minutes, so a full call is $4.80. Calling once a day for thirty days amounts to $144. In a year this will cost a family member $1,728.

When inmates are written up for violations of institution rules, such as “disrespect” or “unauthorized area,” for example, there is usually a penalty fee assessed as well. The fee charged to the inmate can range from $25 – $200 (unless there are medical expenses incurred due to injuring another inmate in a fight, which can run in the thousands of dollars). If the inmate does not have adequate funds on his or her spending account, a negative balance will be reflected. Subsequently, if and when a family member or friend sends money to the inmate, the department of corrections confiscates half of that money to go toward the fines incurred by the inmate. The other half stays on the inmate’s account for spending, but if there is any amount remaining on the last day of the month, it too will be taken to go toward paying off the fine.

It pains me to think about how much innocent people are essentially forced to pay to keep in regular contact with their incarcerated loved ones and/or help them live more comfortably while here. As if life isn’t expensive enough, now they’re asked to pay even more in out-of-control fees imposed on them by the state and federal prison systems. One could make the claim that they end up paying two prices — the emotional, and the monetary cost of losing their loved ones for years.

Letters From Prison: Our Humanity is Broken

Letters From Prison: Our Humanity is Broken

 

Some mornings when I wake for breakfast chow at 3:00 or 3:30 here in the County Jail, I can’t help pondering the question of where they are able to find so many people with the same disposition; just dripping with contempt.

Even though it’s the same caliber people, and sometimes worse, in prison, there’s a little more … something … I don’t know, maybe stability or at least knowing. I know all the nattering nabobs look at people who are held as prisoners and feel no compassion whatsoever. There is a story behind every prisoner and there’s also a connectivity of sorts that links everyone who has experienced the absolute and incredible pangs of loneliness. You almost couldn’t get an emotion to be so complete as that of being alone in a room full of people.

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Leah’s List: Do All Things With Love

LL1-2.jpg.pngYou are here to enable the divine purpose of the universe to unfold. Literally, the world would not spin in exactly the same way without your presence on it. That is how important you are!  ~Eckhart Tolle

I would love to tell you the story of how I came up with this idea, but there isn’t space, especially with my tendency to ramble on (don’t tell me you didn’t notice that in my Newsletter article!). It was always meant to be kept a secret anyway, so I’ll forgo the explanation.

Suffice it to say, I was inspired.

After a few conversations with Missy about how many and fast the letters were rolling in, I mentioned to her that I’d be thrilled to send cards with inspirational messages to those who were in need of contact. We made an agreement that she would get me a list of names periodically.

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Our loved one, their ward

Please share this story widely, this family needs answers.


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Donna and her son Chuck Coma

On February 27, 2016, I received a devastating phone call from my mom. My mom is almost 74 and was diagnosed with metastatic bone cancer about a year ago.  It has been a tough road for her.  I could hear my mom’s voice crack when she informed me that my brother, Charles Coma, was involved in a incident at the Lewisburg Federal Prison in Pennsylvania.

My brother, also known as Chuck, is a Desert Storm veteran who was diagnosed with 100% disability due to post traumatic stress disorder. Because he never received the proper treatment, he made poor decisions and one of them was robbing a bank which landed him in a federal prison. 

Mom told me that they did not expect my brother to survive. My heart dropped. Was this a nightmare? If so, I desperately needed to wake up. She said a chaplain from the prison called and told her. The chaplain refused to tell her anything else and said on Monday we would be told more. The devastation in my mom’s voice was painful to hear. To be told that your child may not make it is any mother’s worst fear. Over the weekend, my family called to tried to get answers but no answers came. So we waited… our fears were overwhelming. To inform a family that someone they love may die and then make them wait without any updated information was immoral, uncompassionate, and apathetic.  That act alone let me know what type of facility we were dealing with. 

When Monday finally arrived, I was so angry. No phone call came. We finally called them.  We talked to my brother’s counselor. He told us that Friday night Chuck was found with no heart beat so he was moved to an off campus medical facility. He refused to tell us what happened. I said my mother is my brother’s power of attorney; therefore, under the law if my brother is incapacitated, she would make all of his decisions and you have to tell her what happened. He said that he did not. He claimed that Chuck is their ward and they will make all of his decisions.

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Review of Lucy’s Legacy by Donald C. Johanson

lucys legacy cover

Fascinating. Riveting. Provocative. The list of superlatives to describe this book could go on for pages. Johanson – the famed archeologist who discovered the 3.2 million-year-old hominid (human ancestry) fossil – has written a book for the ages with this one. This book chronicles his expeditions into the ancient sites of Eastern Africa for the discovery of hominid bones in a vivid and relatable way. He speaks candidly about his discouragement and discontentment with findings (and the lack thereof) and allows his readers to feel as though they are right alongside him as he traverses these historic sites where he luckily “stumbles” across the most important fossils to mankind to date.

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Donation: Handmade Afghan for AI

Donation: Handmade Afghan for AI

We received this handmade afghan from our friend Charles Farrar, an innocent man serving a 145-to-life sentence, based on lies told by the alleged victim (his step-daughter), who has since recanted her story (over thirteen years ago). See the full story here.

Charles has been in the Sterling Correctional Facility in Colorado since April 1st, 2002. Tomorrow marks the beginning of his fourteenth year in prison.

You can sign a petition to grant Charles a new trial here.

cfarrar ai afghan

Justice For Charles Farrar Website

Write to Charles:

Charles Farrar 113856 S-C-F
Unit 1-C
PO Box 6000

Sterling, CO 80751

Simply Human

 

easter bunny

This past Friday (also known as Good Friday) I volunteered to work in the visiting room. I’d been asked–along with several others–to man the table set up with freshly brewed coffee, assorted flavors of creamer, sugar, tea, instant cocoa, and all the utensils needed to prepare the drinks. Visitors–along with their inmate loved ones–were able to stop by the table and help themselves to what we had to offer.

Kids giggled as they walked up to the table because sitting behind it they witnessed two muscle-bound inmates ironically wearing harmless yellow bunny ears atop their heads. Yes, I wore the silly ears! But I reasoned that this was the lesser of two evils since another one of us had to dress up in a full white bunny suit–head and all! But he did it and the kids loved it!

The big bunny made his way around the visiting room (led by me because apparently the suit didn’t have eye openings), handing out Easter baskets full of goodies–ranging from chocolate bunnies to marshmallow bunnies to Nestle Crunch eggs–to the many children that were there to visit their father, uncles, and brothers. One little girl, who couldn’t have been more than a year old, clung to her daddy (an inmate) as she couldn’t decide whether to be terrified of the bunny or ecstatic that he was so close to her. She shrilled one second and laughed uncontrollably the next as the bunny entertained her. Indeed, this was the highlight of my time in the visiting room that day. This little girl was simply enjoying her interaction with a giant bunny with human qualities, completely oblivious to the environment she was in or the people it housed. All that mattered to her for those few precious minutes was my friend in his bunny costume. It was refreshing, innocent, and human–things I don’t get the privilege to encounter everyday.

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Review of David McCullough’s 1776

The Imperfect Hero: 1776 – A Review

1776-cover

 All men are flawed and make mistakes. Character is that quality in a man that transcends his flaws and propels him to success. In reading David McCullough’s 1776, one will become intimate with George Washington’s flaws and mistakes, flaws which might have been glossed over by historians more inclined to fuel legend than deeper understanding. Yet, because McCullough reveals so much of Washington’s error, the accomplishments and character of America’s first Commander in Chief are all the more astonishing than any legend.

Through priceless, archived correspondence of English and American soldiers, historians, reporters, and civilians (Washington, John Hancock, Abigail Adams and others too numerous to list here), McCullough weaves a complex tale, rich in detail, reading like a novel too good to lay aside.

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